So today at work, it felt like the whole world was against me. Let me explain. You know how pastors always slip into a sermon about God's love for us (or something along those lines) how they fully understood it once they had their own kids and blah blah blah, which doesn't mean much to me seeing as I haven't had kids yet. (or...I have, but i just dont see them much since they live in a tent in my backyard). Sidetrack...anyway, something about that stuck in my mind as I dealt with the kids. I dont know if it's something strange in the Tucson drinking water as of late (hah, as of late, try as of forever since who knows where T-town water originates, probably the sludge from sewers, the ones the ninja turtles came out of.) again, another sidetrack. I kinda felt in a way like God today...hah, not even close, but maybe some little bit. I felt that as much as I tried, every single kid in the room would not listen to me or obey the rules of naptime. They all just did what they wanted, they lied about taking stuff when I saw them do it, they fought with eachother, they tattled on one another as if to justify their own misbehaving, they pretty much did everything I didn't want for them. Granted, they are 5 years old, and sometimes they just dont do what you want them to do. All I wanted was that they have a nice short nap so that they wouldn't be so tired later in the afternoon. I mean, as much as I'd love to have an hour of naptime myself, it's really for them.
but in a way, this crazy picture started coming to me. Isn't that a lot like our Lord? The One who created us and the One who sits there and watches every stupid sinful thing we do, everytime we fight with others, lie to others so as to make ourselves feel better, twist the truth and gossip about others so we look better, and pretty much just do what we want. How incredibly painful must it be for Him to watch us ruining our lives with these things, filling them up with things that will just waste away and won't bring us any closer to Him, tearing others down just because we don't 'like' them. Oh, how it must break His heart.
I felt like I just saw all the worst of mankind today in those kids. I"m not saying that to be dramatic at all, but I seriously saw how many hateful things can be done by even these little kids. Example #2= this one little boy was carrying around a little stuffed bear during the activities, and even came and showed it to me. I didn't think anything of it until I looked across the room a few minutes later, and there was another boy speaking loudly and angrily to the boy with the bear. I walked over to try to break them up and solve the problem, when the one boy started hitting the boy with the bear. I stopped them, and after a while finally found out that the bear belonged to the boy's little sister who was sick, and the other one had just taken it out of her cubby hole. So , the other boy (being the nice older brother, as endearing as that may seem, it wasn't very cute when he started kicking and hitting the other one only to get back at him), decided that he was going to do everything he could to get back at the bear-stealer, even after we all talked it out, the boy appologized, and put the bear away. For the rest of the classhour, the angry little brother kept trying to kick the bear-stealer, sit in front of him so he couldn't see the teacher at group time, and even at one point, picked up a wooden play ladder and tried to hit him over the head with it. Luckily, I was there to grab it just in time, and took the boy aside to ask him what in the world was he eff-ing thinking. (ok, maybe not in that strong language) but i was getting tired of this vindictive behavior. after all, this boy is 5 freakin' years old! i mean, seriously.
So he started crying, told me about his sister who was gone to the day to the doctors, and how she had accidentally left her bear at school. He then went on to say that the bear-stealer need to be punished, and he wanted to hurt him. He even named another boy from the class(who was his best friend) and said that they both would get back at him on the playground and beat him up. I was shocked at all this, simply over a bear.
So to make a long story short (too late, i know), I couldn't believe that even though these were little 5 year olds who may not even understand everything , they can still come up with this hatefulness towards others and want to hit back when someone hits them. It's just a natural thing to do for them, one little kid hits or kicks you, then you hit or kick them back even harder.
I guess that's why Jesus was so revolutionary. He didn't do that. He's the one who even said to turn the other cheek. Out of all this, is there some sort of application? how bout this--humanity is sinful. It definitely is in our nature to want to hurt those who hurt us. That's why our Savior came, that's why He died in our place. Someday, we will be in a place where there is no more hurt, there are no more tears, there is no more sin. And better yet, we will be in the presence of a most holy, most loving Father who simply wants to love us and make Himself known to us, His creation. There's a picture for you. It may not mean much, and I may just be rambling here, but one thing I'm greatful for--these small glimpses of God's love for us. That in spite of all our wickedness, while we were
yet sinners, Christ died for us so that we may have a way back to Him. and praise the Lord for that. :)
