Say not in grief that she is no more

but say in thankfulness that she was

A death is not the extinguishing of a light,

but the putting out of the lamp

because the dawn has come.

-Tagore

I think that I shall never see

A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest

Against the sweet earth's flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day,

And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in summer wear

A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;

Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,

But only God can make a tree."
- Joyce Kilmer, 1886-1918, Trees

Quite the morning!

I had the most glorious adventure this morning.....truly one of the most wonderful times with the Lord that I've had in a while. I decided to ride my bike from the old waverly house to our new one, since I conveniently forgot about packing my bike over when we were moving. I set off on my adventure fully stocked with the all essentials: water and tunes. It was a strange feeling as I was peddling my way up mountain for probably the last time. All those memories of running up and down that street, criss-crossing through the neighborhoods and running off some steam came back to me. I am leaving all those times behind and pressing forward to new adventures (however this time, I've graduated to the wheels!). Once I hit Limberlost and mountain, the expanse of the mountains was opened up as I came upon that farm area to the side. What a glorious sight!

The path converged onto the river walk parkway and I was pleasantly mosey-ing my way down the path towards the new house. One of the things I absolutely love about doing stuff outdoors is that generally, people are so friendly and always turn to the passerbys and offer a warm smile or a friendly "Goodmorning." Every kind person I passed did this, even though I clearly had my headphones on. that make my heart happy.

The path itself is quite lovely in that along the way, I encountered bright popping flower bushes (of who knows what variety) and the plentiful creosote that I love so dearly, as well as some nice little dirt cliffs. I nearly ran myself off the path a few times because I was distracted by either the flowering happy plants, or the grandiose mountainscape to my left.

The thing that really made this trip though came towards the end. I was so contentedly singing along with Caedmon's call (good group) as I approached an outdoor park area that had some sprinklers going and a huge soccer field of grass. Mercy Me's song "Spoken For" popped onto my MP3 as i shifted my glance towards my left.....There was this little girl of about 3 yrs standing in the grass field with a bright teal bathing suit on, giggling away. Her older brother was right in front of her posed in the position of a track runner, just taunting her that he was gonna come get her. The little girl took off, moving her itty bitty legs as fast as they could go as the brother gave her a head start, then he took off himself. he chased this giggling little girl all the way down the field and finally caught her at the end, hoisted her up above his head then came crashing down to the grass, both just laughing hysterically. now I know this doesn't seem that great, but there was just something about that picture of those two that struck me. They had such freedom and joy running freely through the grass fields .....I can't put it into words, but as I saw that split second picture, then glanced up at the looming majestic Catalina's, I knew that God was (and is) in control, and that "It was for freedom that Christ set us free..." (gal 5:1)

Even in the midst of all the ways I try to complicate this life and worry about so many things I have no control over, I am grateful for the times God speaks to my heart and I actually listen, knowing that He is my hope, He is my Lord, and He is good....all the time. If only I could truly have that childlike faith all the time--to walk by faith and not by sight, to know that freedom of resting in my gracious Lord's arms.....someday, when we are in His presence.....till then, I will keep doing my best to seek Him with all my heart, and try to block out my own selfish thoughts and concerns.
and try to take more bike rides..... :)



Take this world from me
I don't need it anymore
I am finally free
My heart is spoken for
Oh and I praise you
Oh and I worship you

Covered by your love divine
Child of the risen Lord
To hear you say "This one's mine"
My heart is spoken for

Now I have a peace
I've never known before
I find myself complete
My heart is spoken for

the power of the cross
You've taken what was lost
And made it fully yours
And I have been redeemed
By you that spoke to me
Now I am spoken for

Take this world from me Don't need it anymore...

Let God Be God--April 22
We see only part of God's plan, for in this life we are mortal, finite in our existence. Yet we desire to see more. We have an inborn inquisitiveness to learn how everything in our experience can be integrated to make a beautiful whole. That's why life remains an enigma...until men learn to fear God. "God has so worked that men should fear Him" (Ecclesiastes 3:14). "Do not be afraid," Moses said at Mount Sinai, "for God has come...in order that the fear of Him may remain with you" (Exodus 20:20). "Stop being terrorized," he was saying, "but fear..." This is fear without terror, it means honor, respect, and reverence. This is our part in God's eternal plan. The nearest word in the New Testament for it is "faith." This is what life is all about. You can have your questions, your confusion, your doubtsÑbut never use them as a reason for not fearing your God. The issue is not agreement. You keep His commandments, obeying what He says, whether you agree or not. And this obedience produces enjoyment of the "whole"; this is what it means to be human. God's plan is established. It all fits: He makes the past fit with the future. Everything in my past, my hurts and tears, my joys and victories, my failures and embarrassments, t all fits to make me uniquely me according to the plan of God. Life has a plan...if we let God be God. Moses wrote, "The secret things belong the Lord our God" (Deuteronomy 29:29). I don't have to be able to explain everything; but as I fear God and watch, His plan for my life unfolds before my eyes.
~Darryl DelHousaye

go kelly...go kelly...

Is this a dream?
If it is
Please don't wake me from this high
I've become comfortably numb
Until you opened up my eyes
To what it's like
When everything's right

I can't believe
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me You found me

And I was hiding
'Til you came along
And showed me where I belong
~thank you, Kelly Clarkson

So, this song is pretty darn cheeseball...but, as it randomly came onto my running playlist today, I couldn't help but listen to it a few (ok, perhaps 3 or 4) times through in a row. At first, it got me all sentimental and thinking about this could be me someday...but then as I got to thinking, I found that this was me...and I have been found.... (funny considering I and those who know me real well think of me as being lost half the time ;)
I am found, when I look to this person all of my doubts, confusions, and screwed-up existance just melts into the distance, I am loved ...unconditionally.
Thank you, Lord :)

To where You are....

Living a life of faith means never knowing where you are being led. But it does mean loving and knowing the One who is leading. It is literally a life of faith, not of understanding and reason— a life of knowing Him who calls us to go. Faith is rooted in the knowledge of a Person, and one of the biggest traps we fall into is the belief that if we have faith, God will surely lead us to success in the world.

A life of faith is not a life of one glorious mountaintop experience after another, like soaring on eagles’ wings, but is a life of day— in and day— out consistency; a life of walking without fainting (seeIsaiah 40:31 ). It is not even a question of the holiness of sanctification, but of something which comes much farther down the road. It is a faith that has been tried and proved and has withstood the test. Abraham is not a type or an example of the holiness of sanctification, but a type of the life of faith-a faith, tested and true, built on the true God. "Abraham believed God. . ." ( Romans 4:3 ).--Oswald Chambers

Life lessons..

So I failed a test a few weeks ago. I was crushed...for about 2 minutes when it hit me that I'm graduating in 2 months and who the heck cares. In those two weeks, my prof kindly handed out an assignment in an attempt to let everyone make up a few points on these horrific exams. I plowed my way through it, barely understanding the assignment, and again being overcome by the feeling of apathy towards this and all my other classes. I turned it in, half expecting to maybe squeak out 2-3 points, and with a prayer, raise my D to a higher D.
I got it back today, with a shockingly high score.
With as much as I BS'd my way through it, it raised my D to an 89.

Gotta love college. Better yet, gotta love the art of BS--if anything, the most valuable thing I've learned in my 4 years here--my how I have honed my skills. And I still couldn't tell you what that exam was about. :)

Thank you, Lord....

Taking the Initiative Against Despair
Rise, let us be going —Matthew 26:46


In the Garden of Gethsemane, the disciples went to sleep when they should have stayed awake, and once they realized what they had done it produced despair. The sense of having done something irreversible tends to make us despair. We say, "Well, it’s all over and ruined now; what’s the point in trying anymore." If we think this kind of despair is an exception, we are mistaken. It is a very ordinary human experience. Whenever we realize we have not taken advantage of a magnificent opportunity, we are apt to sink into despair. But Jesus comes and lovingly says to us, in essence, "Sleep on now. That opportunity is lost forever and you can’t change that. But get up, and let’s go on to the next thing." In other words, let the past sleep, but let it sleep in the sweet embrace of Christ, and let us go on into the invincible future with Him.
There will be experiences like this in each of our lives. We will have times of despair caused by real events in our lives, and we will be unable to lift ourselves out of them. The disciples, in this instance, had done a downright unthinkable thing— they had gone to sleep instead of watching with Jesus. But our Lord came to them taking the spiritual initiative against their despair and said, in effect, "Get up, and do the next thing." If we are inspired by God, what is the next thing? It is to trust Him absolutely and to pray on the basis of His redemption.
Never let the sense of past failure defeat your next step.

"My soul waits in silence for God only,
For my hope is from Him.

He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be shaken....

Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is refuge for us."
Psalm 62

"Because of the tender mercy of our God,

With which the Sunrise from on high will visit us,

To shine upon those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death,

To guide our feet into the way of peace"

~Luke 1:78-79